I went downtown around 1:00 in the afternoon and sat intentionally near a homeless man. I pulled out my Bible and was reading Ephesians 3:14-17;20 "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in you inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. 20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." I read these verses because I was beginning to doubt why I went down there in the first place, and beginning to doubt myself.
As I sat there, I kept going through ways to introduce myself to this man, but I let fear get in my way. I watched as two other men came and sat with him, but remained crippled on my step, because I was too afraid (not in a "I'm scared for my life kind of way", but a "I don't even know what to say kind of way") to start a conversation. As I sat there I read those verses over and over again and prayed that I would understand these verses and find that strength to go talk to these men...but I didn't. After awhile they all left, and I was left sitting there by myself.
I felt soo stupid, and I was angry at myself doing nothing. God gave me the opportunity and I let it pass me by. Then it hit me...I realized that all of this was more than just my fear. It was my fear that was keeping me from impacting the salvation of somebody's soul. I truly believe that every person I come in contact with is going somewhere--heaven or hell, and I have the opportunity to impact where they go by my actions, my words, and by my love for them. So when God showed this to me I was super upset about my fear hindering the work I know God can do through me.
Next thing you know, a homeless man walks by me and I say, hey! he replied with a hey back and I asked him for his name so that I could pray for him by name. He introduced himself as Tom, and came and sat by me. We talked for about an hour. Let me rephrase that, he talked and I listened for about an hour. (One thing I've learned is that homeless people just want to be heard..so listen to them) He told me a little bit about his past, but focused mostly on the present. He is in an AA program and on the third step. The third step is recognizing that there is a God. He said that he has known this for some time, but just chose to deny it and live by his own standards.
When we began wrapping up our conversation I asked him if he wanted to go to church with me. Luckily, I had a bulletin from the previous week which had the church's address and worship times on it. He told me that he wanted to go and would definitely be there. I prayed him and told him that I hoped to see him Sunday. He gave me a hug and thanked for listening to him and told me that he would see me Sunday.
I walked away from this conversation totally and completely blessed by our conversation. I had the expectation that God was going to use me to bless someone. I didn't even think about God using someone to bless me. And I was reminded of Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." God had something bigger than I could have ever hoped for or imagined that day, and I am so glad he did!
Well, in case you were wondering, Tom did come to church this morning!! I prayed all week, and on the way to church and on the way into church that he would be there. I was late (as always) and looked throughout the congregation to find him sitting towards the back with two empty seats next to him. Gabe and I walked over and he gave me a huge hug and I told him that I was so happy that he was there. I cried during worship because I was just so thrilled that he was actually there, sitting beside me in my church. He seemed to really enjoy the message and it seemed like he wanted to come back next week.
At one point, I began to wonder what it must be like to be him. Kelli prayed a really beautiful prayer, and I just couldn't help but to wonder what it must be like to hear her thanking God for saving us and for loving us like he does from Tom's perspective. Not that I consider myself any better than Tom, but I haven't seen as much as he has. I haven't experienced the loss, and just experienced everything that he has. I can't imagine what it must feel like to know God when your Tom. Tom depends solely on God to provide, deliver, heal and restore his life. He doesn't have material possessions or anything for that matter...all he has is God and is completely satisfied. I want to know that, and I am so thankful that Tom does.
So, I ask that you say a prayer for Tom. He asked that I would pray for him to find a safe haven where he can live. Pray that God continues to soften his heart. And also pray that he finds his true purpose and calling in this life. I already told him that if he has a willing and open heart, God will use him as he is, wherever he is. I just hope he remains open.
I pray that God uses Tom to bless you as you read this like he blessed me when I got to talk to him.
Glory to God forever!!!
peace and love.
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